Let’s be honest; EDH is ridiculously funny. It’s probably the most artistic format of Magic because you can customize exactly how you want your deck to play. It’s a more casual experience than a Grand Prix or even FNM. Until you run into one of those players that built their deck specifically to ruin everyone’s life.
You know who I’m talking about. It’s not good enough that they win the game; they have to ruin Christmas for everyone while they’re at it. So without further delay, here’s my list of top five generals I hate playing against. And by hate, I mean I load one hand with counterspells and the other with a stress ball to keep from strangling my opponent.
Please note: I am only listing generals I’ve had experience with. These are all up for debate, and I’m sure there are worse out there. That being said, everyone enjoy!
1. Meren of Clan Nel Toth: I know what everyone’s going to say. “She’s not that busted. She’s fair.” There’s two reasons I hate playing against her. The first is that she’s overplayed in my opinion. Almost every group I’ve ever joined has at least two Meren players, and the sacrifice triggers get ridiculous to resolve. The second reason I throw up in my mouth a little in Meren matches is the Spore Frog Infinite Loop Combo. For those of you who don’t know what that is, you’re playing Meren wrong, and you should honestly reconsider your life choices. Spore Frog is a one mana Fog on a stick that can be sacrificed to prevent all combat damage and brought back using Meren. Unless you can exile that frog, you’ll never deal any damage to its controller.
2. Zur, the Enchanter: Oh gosh, where do I even start with this one? He’s a dirty commander because even though his P/T is relatively low, he tutors for self-protection, pumps, and ways to make him nearly impossible to remove. Plus, he can tutor up other enchantments to make the play group’s life a living hell by locking them out or costing them resources. My first time ever playing EDH was using a borrowed Ezuri deck against a fully-loaded Zur deck. The pain was similar to that of getting my wisdom teeth removed. Needless to say, it took weeks of therapy to recover from that experience. If you’re playing Zur, do some community service or something to redeem yourself because you’re a terrible person.
3. Brago, King Eternal: Reference what I said about community service and Zur because really? Just. Really. You know what I love about Magic? Playing it. You know what I can’t do against Brago? Play Magic. If you can churn out a flier or removal, you might stand a chance. Without them, the blink effects and interactions are almost insta-lockout/insta-scoop for the table. The deck plays dirty, since Brago can blink removal enchantments, artifacts, creatures, and auras (Reality Acid, anyone?.) This leaves his controller with mana for days, a field of blockers, and has likely cost you something on your board.
Narset, Enlightened Master: I’ve never actually played a Narset deck, but I’ve heard horror stories about those who have. She’s infamous and hated because of her ability to kill on turn one. Her most powerful build is a turn one kill using extra turn mechanics. And if she isn’t built with multiple ways to take an extra turn and murder everyone’s face on her first land drop, she has access to blue’s counterspells, white’s removal, and red’s burn. Yes, blue-black is one of the best combinations in EDH, but RWU comes in a close second when piloted by Narset. All I can say is, if you are a Narset player, you can’t sit with us.
General Tazri: This commander actually doesn’t make me die inside. It’s more the strategy they’re built around. Allies hold a special place in hell–er, my heart. They’ve always garnered a special hate from me, probably because of their power in Standard. One of my close friends played them in both formats. Besides being an annoyingly large board state, their triggers take forever to resolve. Literally. Forever. More like five-ever. But no really, please don’t do this to your play group. At least let them go get lunch while you resolve 14,000 triggers. The other reason I dislike Allies as a strategy is the fact they’re incredibly weak to boardwipes. Creature strategies have never appealed to me as a control player. I’ve watched too many creature decks get blown out of the water with an elegantly-placed boardwipe.
So there’s my list of personally hated commanders. What are your opinions? Let me know in the comments! Until next time. Also, be on the lookout for links to my YouTube channel. I’m planning to start videos of deck techs and other MTG randomness.